She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
