I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Blood and glitter go together right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
