did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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