im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
