Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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