now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
