Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
