I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
did i walk over a car last night?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
