office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
