remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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