is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
