So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
