these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
