i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize