can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
