FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
