woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
