Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
