In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i love accidental penises.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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