Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
