Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
