that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
