do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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