does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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