Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
