I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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