By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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