apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize