Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
