she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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