I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
