You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
