that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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