one two three fourrrrnication!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
