The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
