This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
