So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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