HIV tests are more positive than that guy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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