She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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