so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize