i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
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