eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
