batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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