I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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