she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
