I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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