I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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