If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This house was built for laser tag.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize