WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
