so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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