if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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