he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
