How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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