I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
