when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
