I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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