so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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