I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
