Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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