Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"