yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion