why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."