i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country