Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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