I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize