Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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