why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
