I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
