He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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