Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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