I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
