pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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