NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
